While I started this blog to talk about job inequity in the workplace, let's talk about the job stereotype. Let's say my job is "X", but my interests (and skills) go way beyond the self-limiting spectrum of Job X. Let's say I'm executive management material - a real strategic thinker, with lots of expertise and skills to offer at a strategic level. After all, I've got a MS in Leadership, I've worked 20+ years as a professional attorney, both in-house as well as private practice, I've taught business strategy at the graduate (MBA) level, so I consider myself well rounded, to say the least, and quite a bit more qualified than a lot of my colleagues.
But alas, my job is "X", and those jobs are "C". As in C-Suite. Chief cook and bottle washer, chief grand poo-bah, you name it. I wanna be chief of something! Please, Please, Please won't you give me a shot at being chief of something?
Now I consider myself a guy's girl - I don't walk, act, look, talk, like a lot of the women I know. Don't wear makeup, and happier in jeans and cowboy boots than a skirt and heels, I hunt, fish, and ride horses, and was "top shot" in the women at my local trap shooting league this spring. In other words, I like doing guy stuff more than girl stuff - I never had kids, I don't like shopping, I can't sit still for a manicure, I keep my hair long and straight because I couldn't be bothered by making a hair appointment every 6 weeks or so.... But now I am regretting the years I spent carving out my individualism - the years I spent demonstrating just how special I really was. I find myself astride two worlds, and not fitting in either one - I am not one of the girls, because I have absolutely nothing in common with most of them - no kids to talk about, no "crafts" to do together, no hair/nail/skin appointments, no shopping excursions - I'd much rather spend my weekends target shooting with my husband or riding the canyons behind my house than sitting inside spending money on stuff that has no lasting quality for me. On the other hand, I am not one of the guys, either - I never learned how to play "ultimate frisbee", I never learned how to play "beer pong" and I don't enjoy football. I'm not fond of pepperoni pizza, but I do love a good microbrew and shoot a mean game of pool. That should count for something, right? WRONG.
I've come to realize that what's most important is learning how to fit in, and even if you totally and utterly cannot relate to your boss (be they the opposite gender or of the younger crowd), the only way you'll get noticed is if you practice servant leadership - notwithstanding how much it pains you, ask what you can do to make THEM shine, even if you know they are blundering idiots who don't have a clue. You simply will not get ahead by being right all the time. Sometimes you simply have to humble yourself to the ranks of a warm body that makes someone else feel special. If you're too smart, too witty, too much the center of attention, that is a sure-fire recipe for exclusion from path to advancement (unless, of course, you're a guy).
Ah, but here's the Hobson's choice - do I learn to "fit in" but lead a shadowed existence? Or should I gloriously bask in the sun of my own universe and forever be blocked from accessing the path to advancement? Dare I take the path less traveled, and risk being alone (too late, already been there, done that!)? Do I even have to make that choice, or can I partake in servant leadership while also sticking to my values (which, by the way, are honesty, integrity, and respect). How can I be "honest" if I am keeping quiet when I know things should be otherwise? How am I demonstrating Integrity if I know there's a better way and say nothing? Am I being respectful if I allow others to continue down a path that I have seen others tread before with little success?
I submit there are others who have successfully basked in their own sunshine... and they are blissfully happy with their individualism. I know I need to learn how to reconcile the inherent tension between how I think I should execute on my values, and how to keep my values intact while also engaging in servant leadership for success. I will choose to find a way that will honor both principles.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Welcome to the blog spot for talking about the challenges women face in moving up the corporate ladder. The inspiration for this blog is one of both personal experience, as well as the experiences of several other women colleagues I've come to know and respect over the years. Each of us are high value, high performing, intelligent professionals - lawyers, finance professionals, project managers, operations managers, IT professionals - we run the gambit of professions across a number of industries, from retail, to manufacturing, to defense contracting, to telecommunications. All these remarkable women are in their 40's and 50's. Most of them have been within reach of the c-suite, having carefully nurtured their careers and networks to prepare them for their moment of glory. And to the last, each has been knocked down more than one rung in the ladder just as the golden ring seemed to be within reach. So this is for the women out there who would like to share their experiences, as well as how they've managed to successfully overcome them. We all can use lessons learned sessions in a safe environment.
They have been:
Hence the name: Concrete Pumps, Sticky Floors. Our very gender and generation seems to have rooted us in place, or worse yet, sent our careers sinking into a downward spiral, much like Jimmy Hoffa's concrete shoes have rooted him in the foundations of the Meadowlands sports arena (Disclaimer: I do not have personal knowledge of any illegal or nefarious activities that led to Jimmy's untimely disappearance decades ago.... and yes, I am guilty of furthering a vicious rumor, but all in good fun....)
Okay, so you get the concrete pumps part, but why Sticky Floors you ask? Well, because workplace discrimination can be way more subtle, and while your employer (past and/or present) may point to all the great things they've done to promote a diverse workplace (therefor giving them plausible deniability to any "glass ceiling" or concrete pumps), you can still get rooted in place because of things you do, or don't do, that harms your path to advancement in much more subtle ways ... Things like communication style, leadership style, tooting your own horn, expressing individualism, voicing your opinion - all the behaviors that advance men, but seem to root us women in place, because the guys just don't think, act, dress, look, or speak like us.
So, as a end stage baby boomer, To Get Ahead (and avoid being stuck) you should*:
1) Be grateful you have a job (even if you're only paid at 65% of your male counterpart - don't you dare push for pay equality or they'll replace you with someone younger, cheaper, etc.!)
2) Be nimble and don't sweat the details (or someone younger will prove they can do your job much quicker and advance farther and faster than you because the mistakes they make will only surface long after they've moved on to the next work detail)
3) Never ask for time off to deal with personal matters because the guys you work with (who get paid much more than you do) leave it up to Mrs. Cleaver to handle (instead, make up an excuse, like a golf outing with a client, or closing in on a lead, for your mysterious midday absence)
4) Demonstrate the appropriate demureness during meetings and make sure you come across as soft, humble and apologetic (but not too soft, not too humble, and not too apologetic, or you'll be seen as weak, unremarkable, and not worthy of advancement)
5) Always smile, wear the appropriate amount of makeup, and keep your body fit and trim so that you "look good" when representing the company (it doesn't matter if the CEO or your boss or male peers are overweight, or are bald, or unattractive - looks did NOT get them where they're going, but it WILL determine the precise career path you will be led down)
6) Only speak when spoken to but not a word more, and make sure your opinions are couched in terms of "we think" versus "I think" because you don't want to be labeled as opinionated (even though your job description includes "expected to use a lot of personal judgment and latitude when making decisions")
* The guidelines above are for reference purposes only and should not be considered as the complete authority on getting ahead in corporate America (and are "tongue in cheek" for those of you who have not caught on to my acerbic wit yet)
So I toss this blog out there. Fire away, but there are some basic rules I'd like you all to follow:
a) Men can post, but please remember "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," women tend to be excellent communicators in the written form, and therefor, proceed with caution (please remember the purpose of this forum is to help women advance through thoughtful dialogue, so do not use this as an opportunity to criticize everything you think we do wrong or the gloves will come off, the gauntlet will be thrown down, and the drinking water will get fouled...).
b) If you are going to vent, for heaven's sake be polite, be clean, be civil, and DON"T NAME NAMES! If you haven't figured out that Big Brother is watching you, please don't post here. This site disclaims all responsibility for irresponsible posts. I understand how hurt you might feel because someone kicked you in the butt and you're down right now... but use this a means to heal and reflect on what happened, not point fingers and lay blame.
c) Choose to be positive and in control of your destiny - getting mired in negativity, and refusing to accept partial responsibility for your current demise, will get you no where.
d) If you solicit feedback from others on this blog, respect their opinions (see guideline #6 above ;-) and do not engage in screaming matches. Walk away, ponder, reflect, and engage in polite discourse
e) By posting to this blog, you agree that I can use, on a royalty-free basis, your snippets of wisdom to put in leadership for women self-help publication at some point in the future. I agree to give credit where credit is due (and if you prefer to refrain from having a post being attributed to your amazing intellect, please make sure you let me know by so indicating in your post). In other words, I reserve the sole and exclusive right, as owner of this blog, to convert insights, messages and posts into my own literary work product. I have dreams of being the Erma Bombeck of workplace discrimination humor with a decidedly favorable tilt towards women, so beware, once you post, this isn't just yours anymore...
f) I reserve the right to pull your posts if you cross the line. Libel, slander, foul language and bad manners simply won't be tolerated. You'd only be reinforcing the arguments against workplace equality anyway, so strut your stuff, and learn to discourse with well-reasoned and polite prose.
g) And the most important rule of all: I reserve the right to change the rules as we go along. I'm a woman, that's my perogative.
They have been:
- Denied promotions due to their gender.
- Terminated for expressing a desire to seek an alternative career path within their company, while younger, male counterparts with less tenure have been supported with their desire to "expand" their horizons with abandon.
- Denied advancement opportunities by Gen-Xers who don't appreciate the value of building consensus or understand the need for management by walking around.
- Given maternity leave (good), then no job to return to when leave was over because someone younger came in and took their place while they were nursing the next generation of corporate executives... (bad).
- Sneered at, scorned and otherwise retaliated against because their younger and/or male colleagues didn't agree with their communication style or preferences.
- Told they were laid off by some young gun who didn't do it right, and then told they weren't laid off, but since you haven't been to work since said young gun mistakenly told her she was fired, then got fired for being AWOL.
- Oh, and I love this one: in your profession, you shouldn't have a sense of humor! (since when is having a sense of humor a lack of leadership qualities?)
Hence the name: Concrete Pumps, Sticky Floors. Our very gender and generation seems to have rooted us in place, or worse yet, sent our careers sinking into a downward spiral, much like Jimmy Hoffa's concrete shoes have rooted him in the foundations of the Meadowlands sports arena (Disclaimer: I do not have personal knowledge of any illegal or nefarious activities that led to Jimmy's untimely disappearance decades ago.... and yes, I am guilty of furthering a vicious rumor, but all in good fun....)
Okay, so you get the concrete pumps part, but why Sticky Floors you ask? Well, because workplace discrimination can be way more subtle, and while your employer (past and/or present) may point to all the great things they've done to promote a diverse workplace (therefor giving them plausible deniability to any "glass ceiling" or concrete pumps), you can still get rooted in place because of things you do, or don't do, that harms your path to advancement in much more subtle ways ... Things like communication style, leadership style, tooting your own horn, expressing individualism, voicing your opinion - all the behaviors that advance men, but seem to root us women in place, because the guys just don't think, act, dress, look, or speak like us.
So, as a end stage baby boomer, To Get Ahead (and avoid being stuck) you should*:
1) Be grateful you have a job (even if you're only paid at 65% of your male counterpart - don't you dare push for pay equality or they'll replace you with someone younger, cheaper, etc.!)
2) Be nimble and don't sweat the details (or someone younger will prove they can do your job much quicker and advance farther and faster than you because the mistakes they make will only surface long after they've moved on to the next work detail)
3) Never ask for time off to deal with personal matters because the guys you work with (who get paid much more than you do) leave it up to Mrs. Cleaver to handle (instead, make up an excuse, like a golf outing with a client, or closing in on a lead, for your mysterious midday absence)
4) Demonstrate the appropriate demureness during meetings and make sure you come across as soft, humble and apologetic (but not too soft, not too humble, and not too apologetic, or you'll be seen as weak, unremarkable, and not worthy of advancement)
5) Always smile, wear the appropriate amount of makeup, and keep your body fit and trim so that you "look good" when representing the company (it doesn't matter if the CEO or your boss or male peers are overweight, or are bald, or unattractive - looks did NOT get them where they're going, but it WILL determine the precise career path you will be led down)
6) Only speak when spoken to but not a word more, and make sure your opinions are couched in terms of "we think" versus "I think" because you don't want to be labeled as opinionated (even though your job description includes "expected to use a lot of personal judgment and latitude when making decisions")
* The guidelines above are for reference purposes only and should not be considered as the complete authority on getting ahead in corporate America (and are "tongue in cheek" for those of you who have not caught on to my acerbic wit yet)
So I toss this blog out there. Fire away, but there are some basic rules I'd like you all to follow:
a) Men can post, but please remember "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," women tend to be excellent communicators in the written form, and therefor, proceed with caution (please remember the purpose of this forum is to help women advance through thoughtful dialogue, so do not use this as an opportunity to criticize everything you think we do wrong or the gloves will come off, the gauntlet will be thrown down, and the drinking water will get fouled...).
b) If you are going to vent, for heaven's sake be polite, be clean, be civil, and DON"T NAME NAMES! If you haven't figured out that Big Brother is watching you, please don't post here. This site disclaims all responsibility for irresponsible posts. I understand how hurt you might feel because someone kicked you in the butt and you're down right now... but use this a means to heal and reflect on what happened, not point fingers and lay blame.
c) Choose to be positive and in control of your destiny - getting mired in negativity, and refusing to accept partial responsibility for your current demise, will get you no where.
d) If you solicit feedback from others on this blog, respect their opinions (see guideline #6 above ;-) and do not engage in screaming matches. Walk away, ponder, reflect, and engage in polite discourse
e) By posting to this blog, you agree that I can use, on a royalty-free basis, your snippets of wisdom to put in leadership for women self-help publication at some point in the future. I agree to give credit where credit is due (and if you prefer to refrain from having a post being attributed to your amazing intellect, please make sure you let me know by so indicating in your post). In other words, I reserve the sole and exclusive right, as owner of this blog, to convert insights, messages and posts into my own literary work product. I have dreams of being the Erma Bombeck of workplace discrimination humor with a decidedly favorable tilt towards women, so beware, once you post, this isn't just yours anymore...
f) I reserve the right to pull your posts if you cross the line. Libel, slander, foul language and bad manners simply won't be tolerated. You'd only be reinforcing the arguments against workplace equality anyway, so strut your stuff, and learn to discourse with well-reasoned and polite prose.
g) And the most important rule of all: I reserve the right to change the rules as we go along. I'm a woman, that's my perogative.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)